Searching for the sense of life online

 Lately, more and more people seem to look for what they need online. And when I say that I mean they are looking for "real bonding" in a fake world. Online gives anyone that opportunity to be whoever he/she/it wants to be. But then for me comes the part that doesn't have any rational explanation yet. 

So we've all seen "Tinder Swindler" and at some point, we all wanted to be him. Then we all recognized (to ourselves of course) that "there is a little bit of Anna in each of us".  If you haven't seen yet "Inventing Anna", I strongly recommend doing it. Firstly because we all dream one day to MAKE IT and secondly because if you truly understand the message behind all that glam and all that society one thing will be clear no matter what is the number of your online followers. That thing is people need people. Real people, real talks, real emotions, real life. 

But then comes this fake world of online that beats all hollow and just makes us feel completely useless, empty, and without any purpose, because we can't touch that sea of "prosperity and wealth" that we see online. 

Online is curated. And if there comes anyone to tell you otherwise just tell them to fuck off. And I tell you this because I, at some point, got lost in wanting to dive into this deep sea called "influencing" but then life gave me a huge health challenge, and even though I fought with all my willing, my body cracked because when things are not meant for you, you can't do shit. Even though people around me were succeeding, sometimes on my ideas, or having those AHA moments, for me nothing seemed to be working and that got me down, mentally speaking.

Let's talk a bit about people's success with other people's ideas. Because for me, honestly, that's fucked up. I mean I can understand the idea of stealing and transforming it your way, having in mind who/what was there for you at the beginning (and credit it). People realize what crediting means only when their idea or whatever is stolen. Until that moment they are the most creative, original, and fresh things on the market. Some of you may say I am a hater, maybe I am, I don't know and to be honest, I couldn't care less because like all of you I have "my truth" that I believe in. 

Do you remember when all we had was fixed telephones? If yes then you know that the only way to see each other was by scheduling a meeting and actually seeing each other to find out what's new. Don't get me wrong, I'm not against technology (I'd be a total hypocrite to say that), I'm against the monsters and the illusions online give to people, including myself. 

Sometimes I scroll online and charge myself with so many things that I don't need, but hey, that's the power of the internet. Sometimes, the internet is the best tool I use to solve challenges, but I also have to pay lots of attention because I never know what information may be fake or just placed there to start a movement and so on. So yes, every time I go online, I ask myself "The Socratic Questions".  

• What exactly does this mean? (for me)
• How does this relate to what we have been talking about? (is something that I need absolutely in my life and without it, my life can't continue)
• Can you give me an example? ( the power of example sometimes solves more than one problem)

I said previously that online affects mental health and there are so many articles on the internet that explores this subject. More sad is the fact that youngsters live now online more than they do in offline. And when online is down, panic starts because when you don't know how to deal with offline, well, there's the real problem. Online creates illusions in their mind and most of the time online doesn't fit with offline therefore many young people decide to end their life before they even start to live. I will post an article that speaks about this problem because seems like no matter how much awareness we do, is never enough awareness when it comes to those things. 

"Suicide is the second leading cause of death in young people aged 10–24 years, globally. However, it is challenging to detect and intervene early, as many of those who go on to die by suicide will not have interacted with mental health services. Novel mechanisms that underpin suicidal behaviours are required.

The internet is now ubiquitous globally and is used for educational, recreational, and social purposes. Social network sites (SNSs) and social media are web-based services entitling users to construct a personal profile, support user-generated content, connect with other users, and support ways for members to collaborate. However, as technology has progressed, the boundaries between the internet, social networking sites (SNSs), social media, online gaming, and digital technology have become increasingly blurred.

The links between self-harm, suicidal ideation, and later suicide attempts are well established, but nomenclature in this field varies. In the United States, suicide attempts, nonsuicidal self-injury (NSSI), and self-harm (with undetermined intent) are described separately, in contrast to Europe where ‘self-harm’ is used more broadly. We will focus on suicide attempts, one of the strongest known predictors of completed suicide. We will specifically focus on the evidence about adolescents aged 18 years and under, to be relevant to child and adolescent mental health service provision in most countries.
Seven systematic reviews published to date have found an association between increased screen time and worse mental health in young people, and the association between cyberbullying and suicidal behaviour is described in a recent meta-analysis. However, the existing evidence suggests that the relationship between internet use and self-harm and suicidal behaviour is mixed with potential for harm, but also scope to foster a sense of community, offering isolated young people supportive contacts. Guidance is required, but there remains a paucity of evidence to inform this. There are suggestions for strategies, such as: a ‘Family Media Use Plan’, ‘Digital Literacy’ being taught in schools, increased support for parents, and the need for funding of new research, to ensure future guidance is evidence-based.

No previous review has specifically investigated the association between social media/internet use and completed or attempted suicide in adolescents (under 19 years). This review aims to fill that knowledge gap, as well as outline some of the recent developments in this field of enquiry."

Those statistics are from the US mostly, but imagine going further and further in the world and taking into consideration that education and the personal filter are not always present. Therefore we will have friendships based only on the number of followers, places visited, and the "online persona" we all want to have in our life.

Some things will never change (discrimination, bullying, cyberbullying, violence, and crimes) but what can we can do is make as much awareness as we can and become the example we need in our life. In the beginning, it will be very consuming, but as with any process (trust the process!!!), it takes time. 

A professor asked his students if they have 10 friends whom they can call at any hour and help them without any questions asked and he gave 10 minutes for them to think. He also told them that family doesn't count. Therefore most of the students realized that without taking into consideration their family, most of them had less than 5 friends, real friends. I strongly advise you to do this exercise of imagination and just look around you.

 In the end, all those who are "living for" online will be probably very sad people in real life because the algorithm of life isn't unfortunately based on a code. It's based on energy and unfortunately, online energy is not always the energy you need.